A Shattered Evening

So sweeping, so dramatic, so glossy and glassy! I hear that numbers of glass balustrade installation Melbourne wide have gone up 23% since last week, when we had the season finale of Week of Our Lives and all of its delights. Oh my actual gracious, that WAS a finale, in the truest sense of the word except in the sense that means it’s the end of the show (it’s not).

Lady Kathleen Richspender-Thompson-Wright-Mulgrave finally emerged from her planned three-year isolation in her mansion on the hill, after the untimely death of her beloved gecko, Clarence. What’s even more impressive is that it’s been exactly three years of real time since it happened, so wow, what a feat of storytelling! Lady Kathleen invited everyone in the town to a giant party to bring life back into the mansion again, and everyone arrived to find that she’d replaced the entire interior with glass. Glass furniture, glass floors, glass curtains, glass mirrors, glass windows…and of course, glass balustrading.

When Lady Kathleen made her grand appearance, it was at the very top of the sweeping staircase in the lobby, where everyone had gathered for glass finger food and glass champagne. She threw open the great glass doors, and wearing a ballgown made of glass, announced to everyone that her isolation was at an end, begging their forgiveness for allowing friendships to lapse and not showing any love to her beloved town.

Oh, and that was only the start of the drama! Thus, residential glazing has shot up as people admire the set of the episode, and everyone is just glass mad. For their homes, that is. I think Lady Kathleen has proven that glass earrings are as far as you should go on your person. To prove that she was back to her lively self, she slid down the balustrading to joyous laughter and applause. And then she hit the bottom at speed and her entire evening ensemble shattered all over the floor. In retrospect, glass underthings do seem pretty impractical, and especially so after seeing Lady Kathleen’s run-in with them that evening, in front of all of her former acquaintances.