Conveyancing Plus FUN

They finally announced the contestants for the next season of The Great Australian Trade-Off, which for me is a huge relief because I’m not sure I can stomach another episode of Your Kitchen Sucks. Sappy music cues and artificial drama make me want to be violently ill, and I only watch it to fill the void because some joker decided that it was okay for Lizard’s Lair to go on hiatus as well. Yeah, apparently the ‘Super Special Happy Sugar-Free Jelly Pops’ that the one guy brought in during the last episode ended up giving all the Lizards gastro, so they had to postpone the show. Mostly mushroom-based ingredients, they said it was, and not fresh mushrooms.

They have everyone on the show this year, from ice-cream tasters to south east property conveyancing experts. There’s usually a spread, of course, but this time when they had their ‘Meet the Contestants’ special preview episode, I felt like they picked people based on their profession. It’s like, ‘here’s a guy who does conveyancing! He lives in Melbourne and when he’s not dealing with property transfers and interpreting the sale of land act 1962, he’s spending his weekends engaging in his favourite hobby: balancing multiple bicycles on top of each other and setting them on fire.’

Oh yeah, we’ve long known that a quirky hobby is a huge part of how they pick people to be on the show. Except this year they’ve got conveyancers and people who restore antique butterfly wings for rich, eccentric collectors, and they all have special hobbies. No, the conveyancing guy doesn’t spend his spare time at the library, learning about title transfers. He’s a mountain bike climber ski instructor rodeo clown painter-poet on the side! What, conveyancing isn’t interesting enough for them?

I’d probably prefer it to the butterfly wing lady. She’s from over seas, and her accent is so thick that I’m not sure I caught the reason why she chose that as her lifelong career. Maybe it’s a family thing.