Trimming the Hedges

I wonder how much transferable skill there is from gardening to hairdressing? I know that sounds threatening, but I’m genuinely asking. I spent so many years trimming hedges that i reckon that if you took the shears out of my hand and gave me some much, much smaller shears, and set me loose on a person’s hair, I think I’d do a great job. I have a steady hand…I’ve always thought so. It’s one of my best features.

I could probably get a job at one of Melbourne’s best hair salons, although I don’t think that’s what my parents would’ve wanted for me. Even now that I know that they faked their deaths just to get away from me and my legacy, and didn’t talk to me for years, all I ever wanted was to do something that would make them happy. I’d shear the hedges into the shapes of angels and their favourite literary characters, but it would never be enough for them. Perhaps if I became a famous hairdresser, that would be enough to get their attention, but I don’t know if that would truly make them happy. Maybe it’s just a dream that I need to put out of my mind.

Besides, the transferable skills thing doesn’t really seem to be as good as I thought. I just tried taking up a pair of scissors and giving myself a bit of a trim, and now I actually DO need to go and get a trim from a real hairdresser close to the Melbourne CBD because I have done something terrible.

Who knew? Hairdressing and hedge trimming actually require quite a different skill set. Or, maybe…doing one’s own hair is the thing that requires a different skillset. And actually, I’d be a brilliant hairdresser, and I just need to find someone who’ll let me practice on their head.

Yeah, like THAT’S gonna happen.