I know it’s rather crass and beneath my station, but I’m terribly curious as to what it’s like to drive a car. I’ve had a driver ever since I was born, and I’ve been periodically firing them since I was old enough to understand that I had the power to do that.
Sometimes they take turns too quickly when I’m applying makeup. Sometimes they refuse to go at double the speed limit so that I can make it to my social engagement. And sometimes I just get bored and feel like I need to use the firing muscle, lest I lose the firing muscle.
Driving, though. So fascinating. Daddy used to do it for fun, so surely I could as well. Daddy was chums with some of the most prestigious car mechanics open in Ringwood– products of that prestigious driving academy run by that foreign woman who always snubs me at parties- which led to him trying to buy out the entire industry in one of the most prestigious and unexpected business deals in Melbourne’s history. Unfortunately he lost that contract to the Clancey family, our mortal enemies, and went to pursue other interests. I’m sure I could probably buy a few small mechanic garages here and there, just keeping things under the radar of our business rivals. Few auto services here, brake pad repair there, you know how it is.
Of course, I’m not at all inclined to use the services of a mechanic I don’t personally own, since they may not be up to my standards.
Oh, but…what a thrill it would be regardless! Sometimes in life, you must step outside your comfort zone, put on some low-class shoes, select one of your 400 or so vehicles and drive to an ordinary mechanic, then let fate decide what services you have done.
I certainly hope there’s actually something wrong with the vehicle…perhaps I’ll fire my personal mechanic, Timothy, in preparation. Let them sit for a while. Then I’ll find a garage for car inspections near Croydon and have something done, just like an appointment with a manicurist, or a personal orchestral composer.
Can you get vanity services done to a car? The wing mirrors could get a nice gilding with gold dust, for example.