Santa Service

I wonder what Santa does when he has sleigh troubles. Does he have an on-call sleigh mechanic, ready to magically materialise and dash off repairs at the drop of a hat? Does Santa have a toolbox in the back, and enough nous to have a poke around himself, perhaps with varying degrees of success? Or …

Santa Service Read More »

The Wedding Crasher

I was at a wedding the other day. Although I didn’t know anyone there, I had a fun time. The food was particularly nice, and they must have found an excellent marquee hire in Melbourne because the tent was simply stunning. Of all the weddings I’ve been to lately, this was one of the better ones. …

The Wedding Crasher Read More »

Feeling the Music

My band has been recording a new album over the last few months. Right from the get-go, I told them I wanted it to be a concept album. I wanted it to be different, not the kind of thing you’d expect. I want to revolutionise the music industry. We’ve got the album name locked in. …

Feeling the Music Read More »

Travel Troubles

Imagine this. You live in Prahran, and you’ve got a date with your girlfriend in forty minutes. She lives in Hawthorn, and you know there’s going to be trouble if you’re late. She’s a punctual girl. You learned that the hard way when you got to the cinema at 7:00 for a 7:01 movie, and …

Travel Troubles Read More »

Horror Blockage

If I had a dollar for every time I needed to get a plumber out in the last three months, I’d be able to buy a loaf of bread, maybe two. It doesn’t seem like much, but we’re talking quality bread here. Like, rye or multigrain. It’s not like one dollar white bread or anything. …

Horror Blockage Read More »

The Cold Beneath

I was reading some pretty wild forums recently and it’s been theorized that that the core of the Earth is actually ice, rather than lava. I think that theory came from basic logic…because it’s the furthest place from the sun. No warmth gets down there, so it’s gonna be really cold. Just like the centre …

The Cold Beneath Read More »

The Chair Guy

It seems like the family is hardly ever all here anymore. A handful have drifted away to start their own lives, but for those of us who are still left? It’s been ‘all cylinders firing’, as they say. Assignments from every single state, with rich folks wanting all manner of services and willing to pay …

The Chair Guy Read More »

Personality Quiz

Given the choice of personal office furnishings, would you opt for (a) the most comfortable desk chair in the world, (b) complete control over glare and air conditioning, (c) a specialised working treadmill with a built-in laptop stand, or (d) a couch upholstered in teal velvet with matching bar cart? Your answer to this little …

Personality Quiz Read More »

Their Proper Place

There’s a lot to be said about feet, but the main thing is this: they’re where they belong. Probably my favourite thing about the human body is that feet are kept well away from me, down on the ground where I can tread on them day after day, and that’s where they should be, because …

Their Proper Place Read More »

Techno-Office

Maybe this is news to precisely no one, but it’s just occurred to me that today’s offices would be completely unrecognisable to someone from a century ago. According to my calculations, that means the offices of 100 years from now – assuming we’re still around by then – will be completely different again.  Why? Because …

Techno-Office Read More »