Competitive In-Laws

Meals with the in-laws are always an interesting experience. Note that when I say interesting, what I really mean is exasperating. The food’s great and conversations generally not too shabby, but I always get this background feeling that Dave’s parents out to compete with me. It’s like they secretly believe I’ve stolen Dave away from …

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Peak Pick-Up

I’m all for the kids doing extra-curricular activities, but I do wish they choose things closer to this side of town. Driving through the CBD at 5:30pm on a Wednesday is no joke, although there is an ironic punchline, which is that Matilda doesn’t even appreciate it. Like, she loves her Brazilian jiu jitsu class, …

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Santa Service

I wonder what Santa does when he has sleigh troubles. Does he have an on-call sleigh mechanic, ready to magically materialise and dash off repairs at the drop of a hat? Does Santa have a toolbox in the back, and enough nous to have a poke around himself, perhaps with varying degrees of success? Or …

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The Wedding Crasher

I was at a wedding the other day. Although I didn’t know anyone there, I had a fun time. The food was particularly nice, and they must have found an excellent marquee hire in Melbourne because the tent was simply stunning. Of all the weddings I’ve been to lately, this was one of the better ones. …

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Feeling the Music

My band has been recording a new album over the last few months. Right from the get-go, I told them I wanted it to be a concept album. I wanted it to be different, not the kind of thing you’d expect. I want to revolutionise the music industry. We’ve got the album name locked in. …

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Travel Troubles

Imagine this. You live in Prahran, and you’ve got a date with your girlfriend in forty minutes. She lives in Hawthorn, and you know there’s going to be trouble if you’re late. She’s a punctual girl. You learned that the hard way when you got to the cinema at 7:00 for a 7:01 movie, and …

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Horror Blockage

If I had a dollar for every time I needed to get a plumber out in the last three months, I’d be able to buy a loaf of bread, maybe two. It doesn’t seem like much, but we’re talking quality bread here. Like, rye or multigrain. It’s not like one dollar white bread or anything. …

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The Cold Beneath

I was reading some pretty wild forums recently and it’s been theorized that that the core of the Earth is actually ice, rather than lava. I think that theory came from basic logic…because it’s the furthest place from the sun. No warmth gets down there, so it’s gonna be really cold. Just like the centre …

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The Chair Guy

It seems like the family is hardly ever all here anymore. A handful have drifted away to start their own lives, but for those of us who are still left? It’s been ‘all cylinders firing’, as they say. Assignments from every single state, with rich folks wanting all manner of services and willing to pay …

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Personality Quiz

Given the choice of personal office furnishings, would you opt for (a) the most comfortable desk chair in the world, (b) complete control over glare and air conditioning, (c) a specialised working treadmill with a built-in laptop stand, or (d) a couch upholstered in teal velvet with matching bar cart? Your answer to this little …

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