I was reading some pretty wild forums recently and it’s been theorized that that the core of the Earth is actually ice, rather than lava. I think that theory came from basic logic…because it’s the furthest place from the sun. No warmth gets down there, so it’s gonna be really cold. Just like the centre of the sun is also cold, because it’s inside the sun, and no heat gets there.
I used to suspect such a thing, but now I know for sure because I saw an ice zombie shuffling around. In fact, he came right up to me at the counter and bought about sixteen bags of party ice, probably to make his surface dwelling cooler. What, are Melbourne’s best air conditioning maintenance guys not good enough for Mr Ice Zombie? Yeah, you better shamble back to wherever you’re currently living, because I take that as an affront to the best air conditioning in the world, maybe.
Actually, that was mean. He seemed nice, even if part of his face was in the process of separating from the rest of his head. Maybe that’s just what happens to their kind when they come to the surface, what with all the heat. Really bad time to arrive, too, what with Victoria having its hottest October in a decade. Good thing that living snowmen don’t really exist, otherwise they’d be melting on the spot!
So yeah, the Earth’s core. All ice, all the time, like one giant snow party. We need air conditioning because we’ve chosen to live on the surface, where the sun can constantly just be smacking us in the face. Every single day, whenever we step out of our homes, the sun is abusing us and we do nothing about it. If we didn’t have air conditioning services in Collingwood, I would quite honestly be organising a gigantic move to the icy realm below. Sounds like they have way more fun, shambling around and having snowball fights.
–Jon