Interstate Car Services

Cars / By

After six months of being unable to travel outside of Victoria, I am finally able to cross state borders again! Now let me preface this blog post by saying my travel restrictions weren’t based on any legal issues, I am an upstanding citizen. The reason I couldn’t travel interstate is because I have a habit of running away instead of facing my problems, so my family had an intervention to say that I needed to stay in the state until I had all my problems sorted out. Well, six months later, my affairs are in order and I’m allowed to go travelling again. I’m going to drive around Australia.

My first stop will be South Australia. I’ve only been to Adelaide a handful of times, and have never had the opportunity to drive around the entirety of the state. I want to go to the vineyards, beaches and explore the state as much as possible before moving on to Western Australia. Given the amount of driving I will be doing not only within the states themselves, but between states, I will make a booking in with a mechanic in Adelaide when I visit. It’s really important that I have my car in working order. I wouldn’t want to be driving the Nullarbor and then all of a sudden my car breaks down. What a nightmare that would be. So yeah, I’m being responsible and going to get my car checked very regularly.

I’ve already booked the mechanic for Adelaide. Seeing as it will be the start of my trip, I’ve just booked in for a regular, run-of-the-mill car service. Adelaide technicians seem very similar to the ones I’m used to in Melbourne, so I have a pretty good expectation of what I’ll be getting from the car service. From my understanding, the service will put me in a good position to drive to Western Australia without fear of a breakdown. 

I am so excited to get in my car and drive away, these next few months are going to be epic.

Car Fleet Servicing

Cars / By

I am responsible for the largest parade in Queensland, Australia. It is a massive task that takes six months to plan, five months to implement and one month to execute across the entire state. We are in the implementation phase, which is where all our planning is put to work to ensure everything runs smoothly. For the past three weeks, I have been spearheading the maintenance and coordination of the car fleets. This is a vital part of the parade, as the VIP’s and dancers travel across the country by car for the entirety of the parade. Across the next four days, over fifty cars will undergo fleet servicing.

This is something that we need to do quickly in the implementation stage, as our VIP’s and dancers must have adequate time to practice their routines and speeches, whilst travelling on a moving vehicle. It would also be very irresponsible of us to leave our fleet servicing to the last minute, as you never know when an issue is going to arise and derail our entire project. The sooner issues arise the better. No part of me wants one of our cars to break down the day of. 

As our headquarters is in Underwood, we source all our business locally. This led us to our current mechanic. Underwood is a suburb outside of Brisbane, which is the perfect location to design and develop a new parade each year. Our mechanic will travel with us for the entirety of the parade to ensure that if any mechanical problems arise, they will be looked after swiftly and professionally.

In two weeks time we will be releasing the theme of this year’s parade, and we are so excited. It is a little different to parades in the past, mostly because we as Queenslanders have had a very different year than years prior. I cannot wait to update you all very soon… stay tuned!

Comforting Gas Heater

Heating / By

When my eldest daughter was in grade five, my family and I uprooted our life in Melbourne to move to Canberra for my husband’s new job. Moving four daughters, two dogs and ourselves to another state was a mammoth and at times, sad task, but we did it and have lived in Canberra ever since. When my husband died around eight years ago, we decided to stay in Canberra as my daughters had built their lives there. With my entire family and support over in Melbourne though, this was a difficult decision.

In times of great sadness, I found comfort by snuggling up to my gas heating. Canberra is a cold place at the best of times, but when your whole body feels cold from heartache, the comfort of a warm heater goes a long way. I’m not sure if you’ve ever gone through the heartache of losing your lifelong partner, but it can make your emotions irrational and explosive. I can’t even tell you how much I lost it when our heater broke. It felt like I was losing my husband all over again, and so I didn’t waste any time booking my heating repairs. Canberra technicians are efficient, thank goodness, and so the job was done quickly the next day. This didn’t stop me from breaking down into tears as soon as the technician left, but it did help me find the comfort and reassurance that I needed to get me through the day.

I can say now, on good authority, that I am doing a lot better than I was eight years ago. My daughters have all finished school, and my oldest has even finished university. They have thrived despite the pain losing their father put them through, and I am so thankful for it. I see a part of their father in each and every one of them, which gives me more comfort these days than my trusty gas heating.

Despise My Job

Careers / By

I’ve worked the same job for the past thirty years. It’s been an absolute slog and I have probably enjoyed about a day’s worth of work in total. To say I hate my job is an understatement. I get absolutely no pleasure from my work and I don’t see the point of the job I do. The only reason I’ve stayed in my job so long is because it’s steady work and I had a family to support. In another life, if I had the option to choose a simpler job that paid less, I would have taken it, but when you had four kids to support you have to do what you don’t want to do.

As of yesterday, our youngest daughter graduated from high school. That means I’m free. I no longer have to pay school fees and all my children are now either married or away at college. I can finally undergo a career change. Melbourne is a massive city and full of opportunities that I was never able to take, and now I’m going to take them. I’m going to work in a career that I actually enjoy. I have no idea what that will be as I’ve been so anti-work for thirty years now, but I know if it’s in a completely different direction to my current job, I will be ten-times happier. 

My wife is on-board with me changing my career, which is such a relief. She said we don’t need the extra money that my current job would bring in, as we were never used to having that money since it was always going to school fees. She is incredibly understanding and because of her, I’m going to visit a career consultant. Melbourne is a great place, but I really don’t want to work in the CBD. I’m hoping the career consultant can help me find a relaxing job near my home, so that I can spend more time doing what’s important to me… spending time with my incredible wife and in my garden.

Competitive In-Laws

Food / By

Meals with the in-laws are always an interesting experience. Note that when I say interesting, what I really mean is exasperating. The food’s great and conversations generally not too shabby, but I always get this background feeling that Dave’s parents out to compete with me.

It’s like they secretly believe I’ve stolen Dave away from them (never mind that he’s a 36 year-old tax attorney) and have this long-term plot to prove to him my shortcomings in the kitchen department.It’s super weird that (a) they seem to team up on this, and (b) they only do it at mealtimes. I guess it’s because they’re both excellent cooks, so it’s an area in which they can pool their talents and make double the impact.

This time, it all kicked off over the entree when Dave brought up some new concept he’d heard about regarding weight loss for men. Meal plans became the hot topic of conversation, and this quickly spiralled into an argument and Dave’s mother throwing me a pointed sidelong glance while tut-tutting about Dave not eating enough. This is far from the case (as Dave would be happy to admit), but even if it was, that’s surely his responsibility, not mine.

Dave tends to be kind of oblivious to all this, which is fair seeing as it’s pretty subtle and primarily directed at me. I was just hoping he would bring up the fact that we’d discussed using a weight loss meal delivery service for a couple of weeks while the floor in the kitchen gets done. We’ll both be really busy during that period, and if we don’t plan an easy solution, we’ll just end up eating out every night for two weeks. But I was willing to bet that this notion wouldn’t go down too well at the dinner table. More to the point, I’d get the blame for it, despite the fact that (as mentioned) we’re grown-ups and each responsible for our own diets.

He didn’t mention it, so I dodged a bullet there. And the hibiscus syrup cake for dessert was really good.

Santa Service

Cars / By

I wonder what Santa does when he has sleigh troubles. Does he have an on-call sleigh mechanic, ready to magically materialise and dash off repairs at the drop of a hat? Does Santa have a toolbox in the back, and enough nous to have a poke around himself, perhaps with varying degrees of success? Or does he, like the rest of us, simply plop down on the curb with his head in his hands, wishing he’d stayed home with a nice cup of tea and a biscuit?

 

If only I could summon a magic mechanic, or at least a mechanic shop open near Northcote, on this balmy week-before-Christmas evening. As it stands, I have to make do with waiting for roadside assistance from a designated provider while at the mercy of Thursday night traffic. I’m doing my best to embrace the festive spirit by enjoying a peppermint-gingernut ice cream from the servo while I wait. So far, I can’t say it’s going along way towards anything other than a sugar crash. What can you do, though?

 

Really, I think the best way to ‘get into the spirit’ is to just go with the flow. There’s only so much you can do to avoid inconvenience, irritation and vast expense at this time of year, so why fight it? If I have to shell out for a transmission service, then so be it. If I have to wait until January before I have a car again, so be that too. If I end up eating a second Christmas-themed novelty ice cream from the servo, that’s the way the news goes. 

 

It’s all a matter of mindset, and asking yourself what Santa would do in this situation. As I suggested earlier, Santa might not be any wiser than the rest of us when it comes to unexpected vehicle breakdowns. But I’m willing to bet he doesn’t fight the urge to have a second ice cream, even if it is simply to pass the time.

The Wedding Crasher

Events / By

I was at a wedding the other day. Although I didn’t know anyone there, I had a fun time. The food was particularly nice, and they must have found an excellent marquee hire in Melbourne because the tent was simply stunning. Of all the weddings I’ve been to lately, this was one of the better ones.

There was one last week where all of the food contained olives, so that wasn’t a lot of fun. Even the cake had olives in it. What were they thinking? An olive themed wedding? I get that the groom’s name was Oliver, but come on. I can’t believe they managed to hire a wedding marquee near Melbourne that was olive coloured. The craziest thing was the olive coloured suit the groom wore. I don’t think my eyes will ever recover! That was probably my least favourite wedding so far.

My all-time favourite wedding was “Space Battles” themed. I’m not really a fan of “Space Battles”, but the decorations were simply incredible. The groom came dressed up as Dark Invader, and the groomsmen were Lightning Troopers. It was a little weird that the bride was dressed like Princess Leio, because I’m pretty sure she’s Dark Invader’s daughter. But the food was delicious and the blue milk drinks were sublime. The whole atmosphere was jolly, and it was interesting to see so many people who care so deeply about “Space Battles”. If you’d asked me before, I would have said that a sci-fi movie themed wedding is a terrible idea. But now, I’d say go for it! 

Crashing weddings usually goes really well, but when people realise that they’ve never seen me before, it can turn into a bit of a disaster. I’ve even had the police called on me once. All I want is to eat some free (non-olive) food and have a good time. Is that so bad? Most of the time it’s not an issue, but there are exceptions. Not that they’ll ever stop me from doing it. Crashing weddings is just too much fun.

Travel Troubles

Cars / By

Imagine this. You live in Prahran, and you’ve got a date with your girlfriend in forty minutes. She lives in Hawthorn, and you know there’s going to be trouble if you’re late. She’s a punctual girl. You learned that the hard way when you got to the cinema at 7:00 for a 7:01 movie, and she’d already been there for an hour. Big mistake. So, you’ve got forty minutes to be there. You could take the tram, which would take half an hour, but the catch is, the next tram is in ten minutes. That’s probably cutting it a bit fine. Alternatively, you could drive, and you’d be there to pick her up in fifteen minutes. You’re going to drive, obviously. Your fate is in your own control, for the most part. The fifteen-minute drive leaves another twenty-five minutes for traffic, and maybe you’ll even get there a little early, and she’ll be even happier. It’s the logical choice.

Wrong. You get five minutes through the drive when you start hearing funny noises from the engine. This is something you didn’t expect. You took it to a car service shop near Prahran just the other day! The issue doesn’t seem too bad, but is it worth the risk of a breakdown? Maybe you should take the car back to the shop and get them to check it out. On the other hand, you could risk it, and hope the car holds out. Besides, there’s that car mechanic within Hawthorn that your girlfriend is always talking about. That seems like the better option, so you go to pick her up for the date. Thankfully it makes it all the way, and when she asks about the funny noise, you let her decide if you should keep driving it. That way, if the car breaks down on the way to the restaurant, it’s not entirely your fault.

The Cold Beneath

Cooling / By

I was reading some pretty wild forums recently and it’s been theorized that that the core of the Earth is actually ice, rather than lava. I think that theory came from basic logic…because it’s the furthest place from the sun. No warmth gets down there, so it’s gonna be really cold. Just like the centre of the sun is also cold, because it’s inside the sun, and no heat gets there.

I used to suspect such a thing, but now I know for sure because I saw an ice zombie shuffling around. In fact, he came right up to me at the counter and bought about sixteen bags of party ice, probably to make his surface dwelling cooler. What, are Melbourne’s best air conditioning maintenance guys not good enough for Mr Ice Zombie? Yeah, you better shamble back to wherever you’re currently living, because I take that as an affront to the best air conditioning in the world, maybe. 

Actually, that was mean. He seemed nice, even if part of his face was in the process of separating from the rest of his head. Maybe that’s just what happens to their kind when they come to the surface, what with all the heat. Really bad time to arrive, too, what with Victoria having its hottest October in a decade. Good thing that living snowmen don’t really exist, otherwise they’d be melting on the spot!

So yeah, the Earth’s core. All ice, all the time, like one giant snow party. We need air conditioning because we’ve chosen to live on the surface, where the sun can constantly just be smacking us in the face. Every single day, whenever we step out of our homes, the sun is abusing us and we do nothing about it. If we didn’t have air conditioning services in Collingwood, I would quite honestly be organising a gigantic move to the icy realm below. Sounds like they have way more fun, shambling around and having snowball fights. 

–Jon

The Chair Guy

Cars / By

It seems like the family is hardly ever all here anymore. A handful have drifted away to start their own lives, but for those of us who are still left? It’s been ‘all cylinders firing’, as they say. Assignments from every single state, with rich folks wanting all manner of services and willing to pay fancy airfares to get us there.

I say ‘us’…I do admin, so I’m almost always here. My main job is to file all the equipment and keep it in good condition. It’s an important job, I’ll have you know; if I mislabel these summoning scrolls, they could unleash a fire when you actually just want a rain.

I went on one mission last month…quite thrilling, actually. We were in Hobart on quite a sensitive mission- can’t reveal the details, obviously- and to gather some intel we needed to speak with some people who did tyre repair. Hobart is a small settlement in the grand scheme of things, but we needed information on specific car tyres and how they can be repaired. The team said they brought me along because I’m unassuming and pathetic, but they also know that I’m the expert when it comes to cars and mechanical subjects. I do my research on our current Australian society, unlike some people who spend all their time hacking up straw training dummies with swords. 

Anyway, we looked into tire repairs and all kinds of car servicing to make sure we had the right information. I was included in the planning meeting…and then when it came time for the actual mission, they left me in the car. Not as the getaway driver; I was told to stay in the back seat. I guess it went well, because they came back an hour or so later in high spirits, swapping in-jokes that you have to be a proper mechanic to get. 

Whatever. Had a bit of fun, got included for once, got to talk to some auto electricians in Hobart. All in all, a nice trip. Good to finally get out of the storage room for a while. 

-Akashi